I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize