i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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