How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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