We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
