Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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