yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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