In the future we'll all be gay
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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