After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
