she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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