He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize