im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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