Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize