Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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