is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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