I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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