And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
