It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
that may or may not have been my penis.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
