So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize