well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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