hotel room ftw
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
