i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize