Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
