hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
no, he came in my armpit
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
