guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
