How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize