I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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