I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
