Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
