my mouth tastes like poor choices
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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