I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
