it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
