lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
