dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
