Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize