life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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