Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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