My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
