My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
