I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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