If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Are we still banned from the library?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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