sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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