perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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