my room smells like sperm. sweet.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
