dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
