she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
