Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
