Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
