dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
