she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
