You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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