After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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