Just took my morning after pill in the library
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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