Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
