DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
