I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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