Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's just like the Real World with babies
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
