Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
