I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
