its not stalking. its research.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
