obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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