Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
