I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
