weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
