garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just google imaged poop.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
