what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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