I'm eating all of the evidence.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
