yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
