it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
