also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
