Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
