Nicole vs. Life
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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