I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
