it wasn't lemon gatorade
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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