Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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