Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
